Hey!! I need help with my gender. Usually, I can help others but it is so weird. I can't apply that to myself. I'm pretty sure I'm bigender. But I need a second opinion... and I fear I have gone to my best friend so much about this stuff she stopped responding to me... oops... lol. I guess I'll begin with a small intro.
Hello, I'm... for this post. I will not say my actual name... sorry, heh... I'm SP1R1T. I'm an AFAB. My whole life I have been told my mom wished I was an AMAB. I have been straight up told I am a mistake for that. That's important-ish for what I have to say. I want to be a biological male... BIOLOGICALLY I wish I was a male. Not because of the reason stated above. But I can't help but maybe worry it has been influenced onto me because of the reason stated above. Perhaps it's just guilt. I just want to be seen and perceived as a male. I want people to look at me and think about how I'm a handsome man. But, I still want to dress in skirts and wear makeup, have long hair, and do stuff that's conveniently 'feminine'. But I still also want to dress masculine, like have baggy pants, short hair, ect. It's almost as if my right and left brain can't decide on a gender and just continuously fight. Which I've noticed, ALWAYS HAPPENS!! It's as if the right and left brain are fighting between a girl or boy. Sometimes it's as if the boy side wins or the girl side. But it's usually as if they are fighting and arguing about what gender I am...
[yes I used personification on my brain... lol]
Well anyway as I said, I'm pretty sure I'm Bigender. But I also don't want to identify as something very small and unknown and then start wracking up gender identities. Since I do come from a homophobic area. They'd think I would be faking it all.
Anyway... thanks for reading my little yappaton.
---SP1R1T
~~~HE/THEY
