I dunno at this point being free to be out about gender stuff around this time is what's been keeping me going for so long. But it's out of reach again, I never had a shot did I. I don't know if I'll even be alive by the end of four more years of doing being closeted. I wish I had people who didn't wish I was something else, really I wish I wasn't even born. I never had a chance really with the way things are for me I never had a chance of being happy. Maybe I should just give up it seems to be the more reasonable option now. I hope I'll be okay.