Kingender

Heyo, so, some context for ya here;

I generally tend to describe myself as a creature or thing, because yes.

Specifically speaking, I am a fey changeling :3

(Fae, fay, however you wanna spell it, although i do not enjoy being called a fairy)

So, anyways, basically I'm always fluid, hyperaware of the fact that gender is nonexistent, but sometimes when it starts doing backflips I get frustrated. So I was just perusing through various labels in the past few days and found myself in the fairy-related genders category, to which i for some reason found myself being severely frustrated by the fact that there's only a very few actually fair-folk exclusive ones?? Idk lol. Just me.

So, I'm coining this:

Fairvinian - (fair-vin-ee-an)

Alternate names: Fairvic, Fairvician, Fairvicgender

(working on symbol and a flag)

an identity that is best described as a complete and perfect mix of Faevic and Faergender, feeling unique not only due to the otherhuman understanding of it, but to the individual as well, usually in relation to the specific type of fair folk that they are

This gender is exclusive to non-humans of the Fair Folk (this includes changelings, nymphs, dryads, pixies, leprechauns, and all those who feel themselves to *be* or *have been* of the Fair Folk, but does *not* include fair-folk aligned fictionkin (such as characters or species from media)

However, it can also be used as a general descriptor for one's sense of self; unique to them, as an individual, perhaps difficult or impossible to explain as they feel themselves in a way that humans don't.

Therefore, the phrase "I am fairvinian," can relate to gender, presentation, and sense of self (tied to the person's species), or possibly as a species/ethnic term, specifying that what you are is *you*, but also a Fair Folk.

So the gender itself that you feel- it doesnt matter exactly what that is, it could be literally anything, fairvinian speaks more on the relationship between your uniqueness, identity and non-human species.

Yep. Gonna try and work on a page at somepoint maybe..

@MrsBunny3

-Moth, fae/they

Catfoxhybridgender is a xenogender and faunagender identity in which ones gender is related to being a cat fox hybrid, this may or may not be a kingender.

No flag or page for this yet, but anyone can make any of those. /gen

- Kittyfox, cat/fox

I've just realized that I'm not sure I've ever experienced my gender apart from my alterhumanity٫ and now I'm wondering if what I've been experiencing is actually gender at all or just alterhuman feelings. Either I'm correct about being genderselkie and my fluidity is just highly affected by my alterhumanity or I'm actually agender and just confused by my alterhumanity. How do I even figure this out?

Something I find interesting with all my Fictionlinks is no matter the fandom in which they fall in; there's always a theme of sorts, most notable is the recent pattern of Music originally being with various Pokélinks and most recently, K-low. Another ¨theme¨ is the behavioral aspect, there´s a sort of ¨Stages¨ of being an Otherlinker is incorporating such ´links into the being´s life. For me, this is most predominantly manifested in behavior. Online one of the biggest changes is typing style, speech patterns, phrases, and profile pictures. But it´s also other things such as names, pronouns, and interactions here with other users. General Pokélinks I switch from meows to different cries ranging from different Pokémon, their speech pattern is easy I´ve created a system of expressing what I want to say in ¨Pokéḿon Langauge¨,

However, there are two out-lairs Sammy and K-low (Kiwi Lollipop). Pokéḿon speech pattern is easy, I´ve been hearing it for years ever since I was little, Sammy I have to relearn I can feel the urge, the devotion the articulated instability. The urge to create perfect of devotion, rythmes, Prophets of ¨truth¨.

The devotion is so strong. K-low I is more so aspects of her personality such as perfection rather than speech pattern, hence why I´am typing neatly. Perhaps a unique aspect tied to K-low (me) is using Aesthetic borders and/or symbols.

I wonder if users (you) can differentiate the different Fictionlinks or noticed I use me or I in a certain when referring to/talking about said characters, it´s a good gauge to tell if my humanflux is low or high. Or the fact most shifts are triggered by users here even if its small. I wonder if there's a line between ¨typical (Screech) behavior¨, ¨Fictionlink behavior¨ and if that line varies from users, if they use that to tell when the ¨switch¨ happens, or maybe their to far integrated into each other; which also ranges from different ´links.

- Starreia Solo/soloself or Aux/auxself pop/stars/popstar

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

☐ Special thanks to @HelenDaMelon and blooms 560-page Pokémon- ☐

☐ handbook for helping me create this!/srs /vpos /gen ฅ ^≧∇≦^ ฅ ☐

☐ I felt like crying of happiness lol/vpos /gen ♡ ☐ ╰┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╯

> Sw: Symbols, long post/lists

Oh and uh feel free to suggest names and/or pronouns/nf /pos

This took way to long-

╭──────────.★..─╮

Definitions

╰─..★.──────────╯

Note: I am not all of these types this is for educational purposes only.

♡ ————————— ♡ ——————————————————♡ —————————— ♡

1. Aeslink: Formed for the aesthetic.

2. Copinglink/C'link: Formed as a coping mechanism.

3. Fictionlink: Broad term for otherlinks formed with a fictional being.

4. Cladelink: A link that is a clade rather than a distinct species.

5. Paleolink: A prehistoric link.

6. Funlink/F'link: Formed for fun or related reasons.

7. Paroulink: Formed as a coping mechanism or disconnection from humanity.

8. Supportlink/S'link: Formed to help support traits or behaviors.

「 ✦ Aeslinks ✦ 」

• Aurorus

• Mega Audino

• Dragonair

• Lilligant (Hisuian Lilligant + Unovan Form)

• Minior (Violet Core Form)

• Vulpix (Alolan Form)

• Togekiss (+ Dynamax Togekiss)

• Gigantamax Eevee

• Cosmoem

• Lunala (Shiney)

• Tapu Fini

• Dubwool (Shiney)

• Lurantis

• Poipole

• Fflygon

• Frillish (Male)

• Frosmoth

╭┈ • ┈ ୨୧ ┈ • ┈╮

♡ Copinglinks/C'links ♡

╰┈ •┈୨୧┈• ┈╯

• Petilil

• Morelull

• Swirlix

• Xerneas

• Cosmog

• Sandslash

• Nihilego (+ Shiney)

• Mesprit

• Pikachu Rock Star/Belle

• Jellicent (Male)

• Minccino/Cinccino (Shiney Pink)

• Steenee

• Diancie

• Carbink

• Cottonee/Whimsicott

.·:·.┏━⋅━⋅━━⋅༻❁༺⋅━━⋅━⋅━┓ :·.

.༻♡ Fictionlinks ♡༺.

.·:·.╰━⋅━⋅━.· ✿༻༺✿·.━⋅━⋅━╯ :·.

• Cresselia

• Sawsbuck (Spring Form, Male)

• Milotic

• Vulpix (Kantonian Form)

• Zacian (Hero of Many Battles)

• Solgaleo (Ultra)

• Sveltal

• Zorua (Hisuian Form)

• Fomantis

• Ralts/Kirlia

⟞⋆☆Cladelink☆⋆⟝

• Unknown

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

-ˏˋ Funlinks/F'links ˊˎ-

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

• Gossifleur

• Shiinotic

• Vulpix (Kantonian Form)

• Rapidash (Galarian Form)

• Cosmoem

• Wooloo (Shiney)

• Virizion (Shiney)

• Suicune

• Flabébé/Floette/Florges (White flower)

• Altaria (+ Mega)

• fidough

• Zeraora

• Glaceon

• Sylveon

◤─────•~❉✿❉~•─────◥

Paroulink

◣─────•~❉✿❉~•─────◢

• Milcery/Alcremie

• Blacephalon

• Comfey

• Diancie

• Eldegoss

• Hatterene

• Magearna

• Minior

• Ninetales

• Zacian (Crowned Sword)

• Lunala

• Tapu Lele

• Zoroark (Hisuian Form)

• Swoobat

• Walking Wake

• Rayquaza (Mega)

• Reshiram

• Mew

• Hoopa (Unbound)

┏━━━━ ★ ━━━━┓

Supportlinks/S'links

┗━━━━ ★ ━━━━┛

• Skitty/Delcatty

• Glameow/Purugly

• Hattrem

• Espurr/Meowstic (Male)

• Shaymin (Land Form)

• Slurpuff

• Raikou

• Rayquaza

• Marshadow

• Indeedee (Male)

• Jirachi

• Goodra

• Munna

╔═.✾. ═════════════════════════╗

Neopronouns [Multi Poke-Coded]

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

• ae/aer/aer/aers/aerself

• co/cos/cos/cos/coself

• bun/bun/buns/buns/bunself (or bunnyself)

• bub/bubble/bubbles/bubbleself

• ("oc" pronounced "ohsh") oc/ocean/oceans/oceans/oceanself

• cat/cat/cats/cats/catselfkit/kit/kits/kits/kitself (or kittenself)

• meow/meow/meows/meows/meowself

• butterfly/butterfly/butterflys/butterflys/butterflyself

• dragons/dragonfly/dragonflys/dragonflys/dragonflys

• bug/bug/bugs/bugs/bugself

• sprout/sprout/sprouts/sprouts/sproutself

• ro/rose/roses/roses/roseself

• sun/flower/suns/flowers/sunflowerself

• ice/ice/ices/ices/iceself

• ce/icicle/icicles/icicles/icicleself

• rain/rainbow/rainbows/rainbows/rainbowself

• scare/scare/scares/scares/scareself (or scaryself)

• unsettle/unsettling/unsettlings/unsettlings/unsettlingself

• cof/coffin/coffins/coffins/coffinself

• gra/grave/graves/graves/graveself

• ghost/ghost/ghosts/ghosts/ghostself

• ghoul/ghoul/ghouls/ghouls/ghoulself

• pol/poltergeist/pols/poltergeist/poltergeistself

• bite/bite/bites/bites/biteself

• rattle/rattle/rattles/rattles/rattleself (or rattlingself)

• shim/shimmer/shimmers/shimmers/shimmerself

• sca/scale/scale/scales/scaleself

• dra/dragon/dragons/dragons/dragonself

• de/dem/deir/deirs/demonself

• bake/bake/bakes/bakes/bakeself

• bake/baker/bakers/bakers/bakerself

• mug/cake/mugcakes/mugcakes/mugcakeself

• donut/donut/donuts/donuts/donutself

• icing/icing/icings/icings/icingself

• frost/frosting/frostings/frostings/frostingself

• sprinkle/sprinkle/sprinkles/sprinkles/sprinkleself

• ice/cream/icecreams/icecreams/icecreamself

• 🎂/🎂/🎂s/🎂s/🎂self

• 🧁/🧁/🧁s/🧁s/🧁self

• 🥧/🥧/🥧s/🥧s/🥧self

• sugar/sugar/sugars/sugars/sugarself

• 🍭/🍭/🍭s/🍭s/🍭self

• moc/mocha/mochas/mochas/mochaself

• boba/boba/bobas/bobas/bobaself (or bobateaself)

╚═════════════════════════.✾. ═╝

A c´link is forming and I need some help Im wondering what type of Pokémon that I remind you of or can be described as me.

Possible Descriptions:

• Fairytype

• Dessert

• Legendary

• Genderless

• Femininity

I want to coin a subset of genderqueer to describe it something to do with fairytypes and this feeling the best I can describe it genderqueer. I dont know whats going on its strong maybe its a different type of like or mix I dont know. Theres this strong urge its high and loud its not going away even if humanflux is high. No direct behaviors, no phantom shifts, no aura shifts just frequencies its like their a part of me now so now I just have to play a guessing game. I also dont know where to put this but I think vents/rants.

Im going more indepth on these sides and I'm starting to wonder where the dollside came up. There was a period where I felt multiple doll gendered things and made post but I cant tell in retrospect if that was alterhumanity, just gender or mix of both aka genderkin. But theres I have a theroy that it did start out as gender then subconsciously merged into alterhumanity perhaps genderkinish but it doesnt feel that way. This doll feels like a character or rather a being of sorts but Im not fully sure its a character that is a doll. A far out shot its a bendy plush since Im a batim otherlink but when the dollside is dominate its humanoid and connection to femininity. Could be just how gender is affected but feels like theres a distinct connection. I thought well what if its just me as a doll and for a moment it felt right but still feels incomplete. Im gonna try to focus on the texture and clothing other then just saying to myself oh I feel dollish right now. Then Ill probably build a ¨character sheet¨.

I could be made out of lots of things but I remember feeling heavy like a doll when a shifts happens. This was just a rant but feel free to leave doll things down below: names, characters, material etc.

- Any names, any pronouns expect she/her

Is there a emotionkin or feelingskin term???

Or horrorrelated kintypes?

Is there like a horrorkin??

Orr obbessionkin/gender??

Or like do I have to coin hella lot of emotionkin terms and stuff?

I might be genderkin and both kingender idk justl looking back at the old rants I see both labels

Ik its thereslove kin idk-- I ahh

Guess this post is a follow up to other post but its mostly a ramble.

Im been thinking being out as officially pangender and what that means in my alterhumanity. Its wierd discovering things because new things open up and for a moment just a moment I felt like pangender and alterhumanity combined and that spilled out into other aspects as well its a new time of feeling full. Like everthingkin maybe if thats a thing. Truly fluid everything and nothing. I want to make a new thing similar to overhuman but a term to refer to a alterbeings whos humanity and alterhumanity is important and other terms. Oh being a concept is fun :)

Im to lazy to make a full intro so heres names:

• Kaili

• Maggot

• Crane

• Francis

• Sylvester

There more but Im lazy anyways-

Thingy part 3! The context is its 2-3am and Im tired as hell and I was listening to various fandom songs so idk if this even makes sense.

2:00am

Trigger: Music

Song: Amen|Cg5

Shift: Phycological/Phantom(?)

Character: Sammy Lawrence

Status: Very Strong

“Can I get a Ahem?”

I don’t quite know how to describe this shift or even to call it a phantom shift. I genuinely cant say for certainty, but ironically this made me clearly figure out my gender; in the sense I better understand it more so than before.

I thought the “default” gender was boy. Its quite strange because Sammy is a full grown man Im just a boy yet when this shift happened I was fully, completely man/masc nothing else just basically a cisgender dude. I found it interesting because in that moment I thought is this what people who identify as a men feel like gender wise? Because there is nothing there that was not full not or put together by little fragments yet it feels so empty

. I felt whole like completely full. God Im like genuinely envious of cismen specifically because they know who they are gender wise and it’s completely full it’s all there all the time it’s full. And this might be confusing as Im describing this (which is understandable) but just imagine for second, imagine your “essence” is concept psychology you don’t exist yet your bound by your physical body. Okay. Think about it a concept theoretically can be any and everything. Because everything in itself is a concept but so is nothing. That is my identity, I feel nothing yet everything all at once and shifts, “adopts” to society whether that environment may be. It’s like "Is the glass half empty or half full?" Im both, neither and all at once or if nothing became physically matter that was finally self aware. Gods just even trying to comprehend all of this is somewhat exhausting. Cis people identity is full, strong not everything and nothing just full and thats it. It seems to me based on this, forms of agenders are the “default” gender now.

Perhaps it was always this way and me being alterhuman thought this was how a boy felt like. Im surprised I haven’t like snapped by now I know brains a very environmentally reactive but like its in my core. The fact that if all things are “aligned” on one word can be a powerful shift. Isn’t that terrifying in hindsight? One goddamn word can alter your mind and senses even make certain sense shutdown or lose awareness. I can guarantee that majority beings here (that I interact with) have triggered a mental/phantom shift without even knowing and some are powerful as hell.- Thank you ‘you’ for causing this existential horror where I question the mere existence of what is me and my identity/nsrs /lh /nm /sarc/pos

Oh to be a Magickal concept which leads me to a semi separate thing. Could I just be boykin and said of gender wise identifying as a boy because there is such thing as genderkin. Basically I identify as the concept of a boy without that being me genderwise separately. Different than xenogenders where you connect with concepts to describe gender, genderkin is you identifying as this concept which alters your perception of humanity and/or being a human in some way. Keep in mind there’s multiple ways how to use the label genderkin but this is the definition which fits me personally. Furthermore since Im a concept and concepts can by anything at any given time and in that moment my body just was Sammy Lawerence. Even afterwards that feeling is so strong I can remember the fullness so now I can’t tell if this is forever maybe a otherlink? God this feeling is overwhelming and so powerful.

I'm working on the blog (it's an organized mess) and Im wondering if I should add pictures for visual presentation or/ videos like for gear how to make tails and stuff. I'm gonna add examples on how it affects gender but should I add videos that explain Alterhumanity would that also make it easier or just be very descriptive?

Would this go in off-topic or project talk? idk feel free to change it if Im wrong

I think I might make a blog explaining alterhumanity and its group of terms basic things then tie to gender while explaining why they're different then breaking down the grey area aka: alterhumanity influencing gender or alterhumanity being gender aka genderkin.

Then go further into gender, compare & contrast components like presentation finally ending it with identity and humanity as a whole.

So like. if you have any questions that I could answer ask them/gen /pos

And of course Disclaimer: do your *own* research if you're questioning I dont know everything (sadly)/lh

Dunno, I thought would be a good idea for me/hj /lh and others cuz fully in-deph responses take time/gen. I'm a really good writer when passionate but the process of editing and formatting is long haha- and I feel bad for not fastish responses.

Probs will have a resource section to help with questioning but making the main focus being Alterhumanity/Humanity as a whole vs Gender + examples

So I'm a little bit stupid, can someone please explain to me what kin type, kingender, and kinself mean? I think I kind of understand, but also not really, and help woul be nice

Gender is complex but easy to understand despite all the different sides clashing in. Used to be hell but eh I got used to it. It's funny I can feel all sorts of forms of love.. Gender-wise/'kin'-wise different attractions make the gender but sexuality is complex, not here and here all the same time. It started as just me being confused and not caring then I awakened as Alterhuman and oh my

gods- It's like a split attraction thing.- I didn't realize being Humanflux makes things so complicated. I know I feel different attractions just too lazy to find them.

Demi is always gonna be here tho and also it's like a fluix. Conceptkin brings waves of nonhumanity ex: love; this causes a big problem disgusting gender from conceptkin its pain honestly. Unless since am gender (my gender identity),.. yknow both are concepts..nope nope too confusing no not today.

Anyways, Humanflux I think because it fluxes my understanding of human concepts, feelings, and understanding fluixes.

I can feel those attractions just other times I can't not mention each side has a "preference" Monster likes men which causes me to spike into adoration for men (sometimes it's masc in general but mostly men). Other times it's a creature that can me female/fem which causes me to have a pref for women.

I guess I clung to those human concepts especially when I'm more human it caused all this confusion. That's why I started thinking about using the term

Saphilean not for the multigender (tho I am) but inside for these different sides.

So Im starting to let go of those human things and shifted back into Alteraffectis Attraction human took over and that attraction died but its back-

Ah!! I wish there was a label for this this makes me so confused and frustrated

Everything is a paradox in a bad way

A while ago, I made a post called "Otherkin, xenogender, or what?"

It said, "Ever since I was a little kid, I have loved wolves and foxes. I really did believe myself to be a wolf in a human body. I would crawl around and eat out of the bowl like a dog. I pretended to have ears and a tail. It made me happy.

Would this be considered otherkin, xenogender, or was I just a weird kid?"

I mean, deep down, I've always felt like I've had a tail and ears on top of my head. It's really strong right now for some reason.

I wave my foot side to side, since I don't have a tail. But while flapping my hands I can also feel my tail wagging.

I have no idea what this even is.

This a documentation of me, myself as Alterhuman, how much I changed when discovering alterhumanity, and how that identity changed as I began to understand it.

So people who are questioning you can use this as a ¨source¨ to understand alterhumanity better and how it can play out. I'm very open and strong about being alterhuman so feel free to ask questions about alterhumanity or my alterhumanity. (Also I just needed to get this out there into the void)

Yknow Ive grown alot over the last year one of the big changes is awakening as a alterhuman. During the early days, Ive only identified as that term itself because I knew I wasn't human (psychology). My first shift was phantom limbs I thought I was a Therian moth or shadowkin it confused me because the phantom limbs would come around in a cycle like cats' ears would be dominant then dragons etc. It stressed me out so much. So just used alterhuman then ha- we hit the ¨Here We Go Again Era¨ aka me feeling the nonphysical pain and mental drain which is where Altervoidflux is coined from (thanks everyone btw who came in to cheer me up when I was really sad as hell lol/gen /srs /pos). Then I realized I had to figure out what I am I knew wasn't Therian, I always describe my alterhumanity as I ¨otherkin aligned¨.

Then about 7 months in we hit the full ¨Nonhuman Gender Concepts Era [Horror addition]¨ and my god that was a time. Nonhumanity concepts were affecting my gender hardcore endlessly! (I bet you can find my rants on my other acc if you wanted too.) Then humaflux I always humaflux I just I didn't understand this part of my identity. Time again Here We Go Again era would come in different forms. The humanside and nonhumanside started fighting. This was terrifying ngl I felt like two things a human and a monster. The nonhumanside is fluid it started becoming other forms of nonhumanity thus affecting my gender. I didn't feel like me because two of my identities were clashing and I had no control over them. Humaflux is hell sometimes I realize that it can die and when it dies gender goes with it and things shut down. Scary isn't it? Then the name thing happened and this is an example of how being Alterhuman can affect things in weird ways.

I started to have Nonhuman and Human names- my alterhumanity only affected pronouns but now names I have like 90 names because of that happening. T_T its weird being alterhuman! Fast forward now I discovered Im Overhuman and conceptkin! Being conceptkin is weird as well it also affects gender. Might be like conceptkinfluid just based on the past.

End of rant.

(tell me if this was coined)

Conceptkingender is a subset of kingender where one's gender identity is influenced by being conceptkin.

Such things but not limited to:

Being multiple conceptkins and having a different gender for each one

Having your conceptkin(s) influence gender to have the same

theme ex: Being horrorkin causing your gender to be s form of horrorgender.

Having conceptkins be so interwind with their gender you cannot tell the difference.

This coin is apart of one of my gender projects called Cadenaesic Emotions I have a hella lot like close to 50 hidden coins and this is one of them today's gender coin is based on this entry:

Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Song: Best Rapper Every

Gender emotions

Masc aligned void demon manipulation first half second agender emptiness slight angry denial genders fight second half presents normal as in normal gender normal denial or just a normal xenogender first half tempting second to be something else

Status: Faint Strong

Deviresoulic is a xenogender and bigenderflux identity that has multiple definitions:

One's gender can be best described as someone who identifies as a xenogender but over time becomes corrupted and is tempted to be something this also relates to depictions of demons tempting humans one gender may feel like they are clashing during this process.

Connected to a masc-aligned demon and an agender human fighting for control of the vessel they are trapped in. This can also make the user feel as though they're "human" gender and "other demon" gender (used in the context that this "demon" gender corrupts the existing gender) This also relates to the depictions of demons tempting humans. While this connection can be otherkin-related it is not exclusive.

An alterhuman who is in some form disconnected and connected from humanity (ex parahuman, humaflux etc) and is demonkin whose gender identity is split (being a different gender when human and being another gender when the demon side is more dominant). This can cause both genders to clash and fight leading to one gender being influenced or corrupted by each other. This definition is exclusive to demonkins who have some form of connection to humanity.b (ex: demihuman, humafluid, etc)

Idk if this makes sense oh well feel free to drop down names and or make flags

So Ive rambled about the nonphysical pain even made a whole gender about it. now its different I have gender I use gender labels but Im drifting away from queer and cis in and out its exhausting kinda because I dont feel like Im either of those labels(in the sense of of gender identity as a whole) at all like mentally ig? like I start having no gender identity entirely I guess that could be agender maybe?

idk I guess its confusing because the human stops being intact gender identity just leaves its gone theres nothing their its like if a jar but then it stop existing in reality and theres nothing there its not real. Its weird and terrifying because physically the human is here Im human physically but when the humafluxes in the sense it makes the human side not real gender identity is gone. its not real anymore senses like feeling beings to feel fuzzy and distant.

Mentally im not human anymore I dont feel human but the human is still intact physically not mentally mentally its gone. its like phantoms its there but you can feel it but in reverse...idk. I wish I was entirely human or nonhuman. Of course I have a flux why wouldnt I. at least its not the nonphysical pain where the human is intact but the monster takes over my body making in mentally pain and crying It's so exhausting when the human snaps back I became so drained. Its different nonhumanity different types of monsters and creature..

Shadow, creature, human, being, thing I I feel like is to apart theres two beings;

Man and Monster. What If I lose control completely?