CW: Possible eyesore at the end, my incoherent writing (sorry)
Gender is weird. From one side I'm deeply connected with my femininity and grew up to be "a woman" but on other side I feel like only thing that is female about me is f in my papers. Sometimes I feel more like a boy or girl, but sometimes more like some abstract concept like roomba which got stuck or the colour purple. I have problems describing gender honestly -probably bc of autism- but I feel like it's such a deep rabbit hole and it only gives me another identity crisis. I've been identifying myself as genderfluid for a while now but I feel like the best way to describe my gender identity is imagining a blender. The blender is me probably lmao and in this blender are every genders (this word keeps popping out here too often) existing, like all of them. The blender is working on the fastest mode and sometimes might get on fire (aka when I have said crisis).
Does anyone here, who went with me through this messy post, have a similar experience or relate at all? How do you cope with it?
Also to describe what I exactly feel I made this thing in ms paint:
