So I’ve missed everyone but since I was gone I did some research and only got more confused about my own gender and trying to understand the concept.
And here’s the thing: this whole idea says that sex is somehow less important, less identifiable, but also that you can be “born in the wrong body.” Wait a minute. So, sex is less real, but also, it’s so real that your body can betray you? That’s like telling someone to ignore the GPS because the map is flawed, but then insisting the GPS can still tell you where you’re “really” supposed to go. It’s internally inconsistent, for me, in the same way my diet is—one day I’m vegan, the next day I’m “eating a burger in secret.”
I’ve got personal experience with this, too. I remember being told as a kid that I was “born in the wrong body” because I liked certain things. Turns out, I was just a kid who liked that stuff. Imagine if that logic applied to my entire life—“Sorry, sir, but you’re actually a professional athlete trapped in a desk clerk’s body.” Yeah, that’s not how it works. I know gender is actually not physically there but deep into the brain.
So I think I might just have to be cis because my brain just doesn’t want to ignore my body. I am a visual person, so rediscovering gender is preventing me from being non-bi. I always liked animals too and I wanted to be a breeder when I was a kid. The whole physical part is just messing me up. My brain does not want to look away.