Greygender or Graygender is when one identifies as (at least partially) outside the gender binary and has a strong ambivalence about their gender identity or gender expression. They feel they have (a) gender(s), as well as a natural inclination or desire to express it/them, but it’s weak and/or somewhat indeterminate; they don’t feel it most of the time, or they’re just not invested in it. They’re not entirely without a gender or gender expression, but they’re not entirely with it either. In summary, they know they have (a) gender(s), but either it’s indefinable or they'e just not invested in the concept of gender.
The term was coined by Tumblr user invernom.
Invernom says, "After trying to sort out and define exactly how I experience gender, I realized that it felt a lot like how I experience my graysexuality and grayromanticism - that is, I feel like I experience gender, but I naturally have a lot less investment in it and motivation to participate in it compared to most people."
In the greygender flag, the colors mean this:
Gray: The two shades of grey, one lighter and one darker, represent the spectrum of experience this identity covers, since people identifying as graygender might feel gender to a lesser or greater degree than one another.
Blue: The deep blue represents graygender as an identity and experience, which I’ve always thought of in terms of deep ocean water - it’s calm but it still has a subtle fluidity and variation, and because it’s darker deep below the surface it’s harder to determine what’s going on in it, but it’s still beautiful and full of interesting and mysterious things.
White: And the white represents the purity and validity of graygender people and our experiences. Even if we feel gender less often or strongly than most, or don’t present it as much, etc., doesn’t make our gender lesser or invalid. It can also represent the notion of having a gender, but are not invested in participating in the gender.